Two Halves of One Whole
by chickapeea
Summary: TROS SPOILERS. When they pulled away from their shared kiss, they smiled and touched foreheads and wished this moment would never end. As ships soared overhead, Rey claimed they needed to return to the base and get Ben the medical help he needed. Story of Ben's integration into Rey's society. Series!
1. The Smile

_C.1 - The Smile_

* * *

_That beautiful smile._

Their lips had parted and for the first time ever she saw him crack a smile. A toothy, genuine, spur of the moment smile that seemed damned near impossible for him to show. Ships spiraled above in the chaos of war and for a moment, Rey just wanted to bask in this wave of pleasure, with his hands around her, the heat of his breath against her face, her first real moments with the Ben Solo she had worked so hard to unearth.

Under her finger tips she felt the texture of his skin, the numerous freckles and beauty marks she had failed to notice beforehand that appeared randomly across his skin. They were beautiful and unique and one of the many things she wanted to learn about him.

Still holding his face between her hands she pressed her forehead to his, their noses snuggled close, only the sounds of each other's uneven breathing took over. It was then she felt the familiar prickling at the back of her eyes and the tightness in her cheat, a tell-tale sign tears were ready to burst through the flood gates.

Rey figured she earned these. It only took her slightly cracking her eyelids open for them to come crashing down her cheeks and into his own, scorching hot from pent up anguish.

Ben pulled away from her slightly, but made sure not to part too far from her. "Why are you crying?"

Sheepishly Rey laughed, returning her fingers to her own face to flick away the stray tears. "Why are _you _crying?" Her fingers crept back to his face moist with her own tear remnents. He hadn't bothered to wipe his few away.

They both stared each other in the eye for a mere few moments before they both let out abashed breathy chuckles, leading into one last needed kiss.

"Because I love you." He drew his fingers through the messy hair on the back of her head and Rey instantly felt like melting, from both the instantaneous feeling of his fingers in her hair and the line she was waiting for. She herself was just moments away from saying it before she'd take him by the hand and lead him away from the chaotic surroundings.

She couldn't help a smile burst out first, broad and toothy, beaming brilliantly as Ben had never seen before. Something he told himself earlier on - he couldn't ever be the one to cause another frown or teary-eyed glance in his direction again. But now he supposed in this happy trance-like bliss these tears were okay, and he'd like to see more of these.

"Ben.." She breathed, lips trembling into a smile. "I love you too." In his tender brown eyes she could just feel the sincerity from his previous words, the love, and the caring, the protectiveness she had seen tonight. She watched as his features had completely softened as if a weight had lifted off his shoulder, as if he wasn't expecting her to say the words back to him. She needed him to feel loved.

Rey craned her neck upwards into the gaping hole above them, stars, ships both buzzing about and destroyed littered the sky. It was over, they both could sense it, Resistance ships retreating from where they came, zipping into nothing in the blackness.

"I can't believe it's finally over." She sighed triumphantly, allowing herself to melt back into his arms, her new favoured place to be. "And with you at my side, I wanted nothing less."

His long fingers returned to her hair and she nestled her face against the sweaty damaged long sleeve he had on. Complete with a hole she found, and when she dipped her fingers to tug on the hole she remembered she inflicted that upon him, giving herself a silent giggle in the process.

"It's exactly what I wanted as well." He spoke calmly, his heart beginning to return to normal, the adrenaline that caused his sweat to feel cold escaped his system and the pains of his inflicted wounds began to storm over. He had stopped drawing power from the pain through the darkness, now he was left to deal with the increasing human consequences. Pain ached through his bones, his entire right side throbbing and his chest bruising from the long leap onto the chain already, the feeling of pooling blood was all too familiar. He hadn't even thought it through, jumping so far to a chain that now seemed so far away, but with his mind fixated on getting to Rey he had just wildly jumped. Palpatine tossing him like a sack of bricks against the cold hard terra below, and consequently tumbling down a long and narrow trench didn't help his situation as well. Ben sighed with pain, he was surprised he even made it back up.

Rey leaned away and looked him over with cautious eyes, her brow just starting to twitch together. "We should regroup, get you some medical attention." Regretfully she crawled from his lap and offered him a sturdy hand to regain his balance. "You brought me back to life with whatever shred of life you had yourself, we both can't be on the brink of passing out."

He smiled and nodded in agreeance, taking her and using his core muscles to bring himself back up to his feet, which he then decided with a bristle of pain and a sharp sigh that wasn't a good idea.

Rey posited herself flush against his side with her arm reaching behind him and tucked under his armpit. "What ship did you take, I've only come in Luke's X-Wing." They began walking back toward the entrance slowly, Rey made sure not to push him too much, after all the Resistance could wait up for a bit longer without them.

"I saw.. Just a Tie." He spoke breathily, his free hand finding its way to his side to hold protectively. "I don't mind getting cozy if you don't." They both cracked impish smiles.

It took Ben some time to get back outside, but Rey stuck with him the entire time. Slowing down when he needed to catch a breath and allowing him to lean on her when he closed his eyes for a moment. She could feel the pain emanating from his being and as much as she wanted to share the pain, she couldn't. So instead she held him this last moment before the last few strides to the ship, her free arm wrapping around his front and her head placed square on his chest. She never thought she'd be this close to him, enough to hear his heartbeat strongly against his ribs, to feel his breath prickle the hair on her head, and his body heat to envelop her completely.

As his heart thumped on Ben caught his breath. "Okay, let's do this."

Rey detached herself from his side and quickly trotted toward the ship, monkeying up the side to open the hatch. She surveyed the insides. "It never seems this small when you're in it, but when you need to fit two people it looks like the smallest space.."

"I may be able to manage the tie fighter back to your base." Ben called out from below, peering upward at her with a furrowed brow.

"You're crazy if you think I'm letting you out of my sights." She smiled with a shrug. "We'll just have to get extra cozy." Rey hung to the side of the ship and stretched out her arm, opening and closing her fingers toward him. "Come on."

Ben reached up with a completely furrowed brow and a grunt to match, the pain was overwhelming now and just about every movement he did earned him a sharp pain in his side. They clasped hands and she pulled up with a grunt herself, nearly every muscle in her body churning to lift him up into the ship. He pulled himself into the cockpit and plopped down into the seat with an enormous exasperated sigh.

"Thank you." He managed to say while resting his forearm on a piece of side machinery. He allowed himself to close his eyes, in silence, as he figured Rey hovered over him piecing together how they'd sit.

"Here ... If you could just scooch over a bit..." She murmured, stepping into the seat carefully. Ben did what he could but when it wasn't enough she carefully placed her hands under his thigh and moved his leg to take up less space on the seat.

"You don't want me flying?" He mumbled with a small grimace, not bothering to crack an eye open because he knew exactly the face she'd make.

She shimmied herself down into the seat and stared at him over her shoulder with a twitching brow. "Funny. Last time I saw you flying you tried hitting me with your tie fighter."

She watched with her own smile as he cracked yet another small grin, eyes still closed and breathing fast. "You waited for me to approach you."

Rey pulled down the glass hatch over their heads and leaned as far back as she could without actually leaning against his distressed body. "I figured you'd follow me anyways so why not make it easier on both of us." She started up the engines with a few button presses and a lever, lights beaming onto their faces.

The ship began to whirl up and raise into the air, it did great for a ship twice older than her that lived in water for x amount of years. Rey was sure to take pristine care of it over the coming years.

Rey peered through the window one last time, taking in the sullen landscape and dreary aura that hovered over the place. "Good riddance, Exogal." With one last long pull from a lever, the ship soared into the air and away from this gods awful place. She peered over her shoulder to look at him, she could still hear him breathing behind her but to what degree she didn't know. "Still conscious?"

She felt him wrap his right arm around her abdomen. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Do you want to wear the pilots' helmet for extra safety?" She questioned him one last time before bringing them home with a playful smile.

"No."

Rey grimaced and their ship shot through the sky.

x

Pulling into the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss it was easy to spot the lush greenery of the jungle that wrapped around the planet. She felt like she spent so much time in those jungles, training and leaping and falling into warm marshes, going through many highs and lows. She spent nearly a year on this planet training while the Resistance gained their footing back, laying low until the right time to strike. She didn't mind in the slightest, the jungle biome was whole heartedly accepted by her after years of scorching alone on the desert fields of Jakku.

She pulled the ship down to skim over the tree line toward the base, leaving a perfect stretch of green meeting in the middle with the baby blue skies above.

"How are you doing?" She asked, focusing on the skyline before her to avoid any wild avian creatures that may pop up from the thicket of trees. Already she felt her knees begin to cramp up from the awkward positioning, but she waved it off - _if I could live in a tiny AT-AT compartment I could do this for a while longer._

"It feels better to be stationary." Ben spoke smoothly in a low husky tone, having nearly fallen asleep multiple times behind her. Which slightly surprised him - he could usually only fall asleep in his quarters under tight locks, to keep from being assassinated. The corners of his lips almost tugged up into a smile. For once he felt like he could count on someone taking care of him.

"I bet." She brought the X-Wing to full throttle and they grazed over the treeline as fast as they could, whipping through stray branches in the process, shaving the tops of burly trees. "We'll be at the base soon enough."

Ben wished he could lean forward to rest his cheek on her shoulder for better access to holding her close but he could feel her drawing the ship to a slower pace. He opened his eyes and gazed out the window, jungles surrounded the hallowed grove where he assumed the base had been nestled in. Once he was administered medical attention, hopefully, he could have all the time in world to rest his head on her shoulders.

"What planet is this?" He didn't recognize it immediately, a remote planet, or moon, covered entirely by thick jungles. He knew of only a few jungle planets but none this dense.

"Ajan Kloss." She replied thoughtfully, lowering the ship into an open spot in the clearing. "Jungle moon of Ajara."

The ship geared down once it settled onto the ground below. "Hmm." Ben hummed, watching her every movement as she carefully turned around to face him. "Outer Rim Territories?" She nodded and carefully let the hatch above them open. It wasn't like he hadn't been actively searching for her this past year, so he had to ask to satiate his own pent up curiosity.

Ben glanced out the window. They were celebrating down there. Hugging and cheering and running about happily, celebrating their hard-earned win and mourning their losses. A lump formed in his throat, hard and tight and it passed to his stomach, dropping at the weight. "I don't think I'll be welcomed." He also couldn't blame them. Not in the slightest. He and his regime took hundreds and thousands of lives and in the process destroyed countless others.

Rey unlatched him. "They don't know what's transpired." With a sigh, she placed her hands on his shoulders. "They definitely won't be welcoming. And they'll be angry.. But I'm sure most of them will be relieved to hear of your turn around... Saving me.."

"You could leave me in here until this party dies down."

She smiled and leaned in. "You may be greatly injured, Ben, but you don't get off that easily." She kissed his slightly ajar lips and peeled herself away. "Besides, most of them won't recognize you without that helmet of yours."

Rey positioned herself outside of the cockpit and offered up her arms for service, heaving him up into a standing position. She watched him warily and worriedly as he wavered slightly on his own two feet, holding his left hand on the opened hatch for balance while giving a gentle squeeze to her hand.

"Alright.." She mumbled, nearly tripping over her own feet trying to figure out the best way to bring him down.

"I think I can manage to get down.." He spoke, surveying the leap from the wing to the ground. It would hurt he was sure of but being able to close his eyes and rely on her to get him to safety allowed him to regain some shred of energy. He looked at her, her unsure facial expression, full of worry. He couldn't remember the last time a person looked at him like that, after all, he did work with people that yearned for his own death for years.

"Are you sure?" She shimmied down the wing to make room for him to step down.

"I'm sure." Ben reiterated as he stepped down, his curious gaze fixated on the crowd across the way. He could see a few turned heads toward the ship and his heart began to race. They were onto them, they could see Rey, the relief washing over their faces. Most did not recognize him, thankfully, or maybe they were so overcome with love for Rey theyre choosing to ignore him? He couldn't tell.

The wing of the ship creaked under his unsure heavy footing, slowly walking toward the part of the wing closest to the ground. He could see Rey's friend draw near as he cracked his head up, but Ben couldn't remember his name, not in this hazy state he was in, but he knew he was in for some flak. He watched as Rey slid off the wing and stood strongly on the concrete marred with cracks and overgrown weeds. Carefully he sat on the edge of the wing and allowed himself to slide off, his boots hitting the concrete with a thud, the weight of his body heaving onto his sore legs. He inwardly hissed and ground his teeth together, but he made sure to hide it from Rey. She had enough on her plate as is, she didn't need to worry more about him.

"You're good?" She questioned worriedly, again wrapping her right arm behind his back in a supportive manner, peering up into his half-lidded eyes with her own, her left hand wandering to the square of his chest to rest idly.

He nodded, his messy mane of hair moving along with the gentle winds carried through the jungle trees. The fresh air felt nice against his skin and in his lungs, and cooling against the heat of his scalp. The stagnant air on Exogal was choking, to say the least, so Ben straightened up with newfound fresh energy to make it to the medical bay.

They walked out into the open the landing pads, and Ben, who chose to ignore what he saw, knew her friends were coming closer. His grip from his left hand on her left shoulder tightened when she perked up to the noise from her friends. It wasn't that he was particularly worried about being called out by them, as he knew they deserved to lash out at him and more, but he wasn't certain just how long he could stand and take said punishment without Rey intervening. As they approached Ben saw their faces contort from happiness and glee to ... anger and confusion.

"Rey?" Finn piped up, his brows meeting completely in the middle. "What's this about?" He raised his hands in Ben's direction, taking a defensive position against the two. "Is he holding you against your will!?"

"No!" Rey exclaimed with a massive smile, waving Finn's accusation off with her hand.

"Last time I saw you guys together you were jumping over massive waves trying to kill each other!" Finn puffed out rather angrily, still eyeballing ben like a predatory animal, ready to strike at any second. Ben merely stared at him, having not a word to say for himself. Rey was better at speaking neutrally, it's something he'd have to work on for sure, but right now wasn't that time.

Rey chuckled. "It was... more complicated than that, Finn.." She faced Ben, stepping just slightly away from him for a second. "Are you okay to stand on your own for a moment?"

He didn't particularly want to let go of her, but he did under the squinting eyes of Finn and the pilot he remembered interrogating, Poe Dameron it was. His fingers uncurled off her shoulder and his arm fell to his side. The two of them embraced Rey, her back to him, and the two sets of eyes driving into his own with fiery hatred. They held her close and finqlly they allowed themselves to decompress and share a long winded sigh of relief.

Ben gulped behind his stoical mask. One he had attempted to murder on Starkiller Base and the other he painfully manipulated his mind until he got key information, painful for Poe that was. Beforehand he would have written them off as nobodies, a traitor and a smart mouthed pilot that made no real dent in this world. Guilt washed over him now, guilt that people so close to Rey had suffered at his own hands. Ben had a lot to atone for and these two would be the first on that list.

"Explain again why he's here..?" Poe murmured against the side of Rey's head, his angry hot breath tickling her ear and his eyes squinty, measuring Ben's every small movement. Poe warily let go of Rey and stepped to the side, threateningly, with Finn joining up by his side.

"Let's save the dramatics for later." She rejoined Ben and held him close to share his heavy body weight. She appreciated Finn and Poe being protective of her and their people, and nervously, as she looked between the three men, she hoped they'd understand. "I need to get him to the medical bay."

Poe and Finn shared a skeptical look between each other, mouthing words Rey couldn't quite catch as they had their faces tilted slightly away from her line of sight.

She wanted to roll her eyes but she supposed they got a free pass for being weary of Bens arrival, a free pass before she unwrapped a series of events that she needed them to empathize with.

"Okay ... let's go." Rey gently squeezed the back of Ben's neck, taking in a few long powerful strides before her to get Ben going again.

He heard Finn sigh and exchange a few loose words with Poe a few paces back, none of which he understood. It'd be better if they trailed behind, or didn't come at all, or waited until the moment he was passed out in a cot to drag him through the mud to Rey. Maybe they could take her to decompress, feed her something, make her take a shower and relax. Instead of railing her for beinging him back to their base.

He heard footsteps approach from behind and Finn was at Bens unguarded right side. He immediately wanted to jump into a defensive position but he was so exhausted and pained he would just accept whatever Finn was going to unleash on him. So he glanced at Finn with his half lidded eyes, a perfect angle to take a swift and powerful punch to his jaw or nose.

"You guys ... uh, need some help?" Finn questioned while licking his lips, looking everywhere but meeting Bens eyes like a child who was angry but still had to comply. "Walking pretty slow there."

"Ah Finn," Rey began with a smile, "thank you, that'd be great. Just take his side there."

Ben let out a wavering breath. Not exactly what he was expecting. Not a broken nose or unhinged jaw, but an ounce of kindness. Most likely not directed at him but for Rey, and Ben could respect that.

Finn bent down slightly and gently lifted on Ben, his left arm holding onto Ben's back. Then they started walking with a quicker pace, both Rey and Finn working hard on sharing his weight between them. They were inside now, and Rey led them through a maze of halle which started to all blend together in a blurry mess.

The last thing Ben remembered was slowly being lifted down into a medical cot, Rey instructing Finn how to place him properly like a squacky mother hen. As his eyes closed her insistent voice chattered on to the nurses and staff who appeared from the other ends of the wing, explaining just what had happened to him and what needed the first round of attention.

He wished he could smile at her adamant instructions. It reminded him of his mother, repeating instructions whenever her comm-link would ring throughout the day. In a way he didn't deserve his mother, and now as he slowly drifted away into unconsciousness, he knew for sure he did not deserve Rey.

* * *

_The ending of the movie really peeved me so I'm just writing up what I would rather have done.__Apologies for any spelling errors, mostly written on my phone and my fingers are useless at typing correctly._


	2. Bruises

_C.2 - Bruises_

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Groggy. He felt groggy. He also wasn't sure he was fully awake yet, everything was black and fuzzy but slowly he could feel sensation of his limbs blur back into reality.

What had happened last? Where was he? His eyids twitched with eye movement below and followed his brows, twitching with curiosity of his surroundings. _Rey. _Memories flashed, her face, her smiling face. Her lips against his. He breathed in sharply and his eyes shot open.

Ben gulped and squinted, facial feautures contorting into pain from the overhead fluorescent lights scorching his cornea. All he saw were white lined walls and a white tiled ceiling, typical for a medical bay. He remembered now, Rey staying by his side until he was under proper care by professionals, her nattering to said professionals, her pure love and devotion.

His eyelids peeled open once more, slowly, and saw more of his surroundings. Loud machines, signs plastered to the wall, his own vitals displayed on a holograph adjacent to his bed.

Rey. She slept on a dingy chair pulled up as close to his cot as she could manage. Her arms were crossed over the edge of his bed, head neatly tucked in, eyes glued shut. He wondered if she stayed since he was in here, however long that was. He hoped not. There were most likely parties out there, she deserved to take part, engage in celebrations with her friends with no further worries.

He unfolded his arm from off his torso and gently rested it on her head. Her soft hair under his fingers, twirling a loose tresse around his index finger idly.

She murmured inconerently into the crook of her arm and nestled back in, her subconscious reacting to the physical touch so he withdrew his hand to let her rest.

"...Put it back..." She mumbled into the cloth of her arm.

"Didn't know you were awake." Ben started with an attempt to sit up, resting his upper body weight onto his elbow digging deeply into the mattress.

She peered up to him with big round eyes. "I didn't know _you_ were awake." The back of her throat made a small yet cute growl as she stretched her arms as wide as she could in a much needed stretch. "You've been out for a while."

"How long exactly?"

Rey shrugged tiredly. "Few days now."

"Hm." Ben sighed and leaned back into the bed. "Well it wasn't bad enough for a bacta tank."

"Oh it was." She assured him, wrapping her much smaller hands around his, curling his fingers into the warmth of his palm. "No available bacta tanks, lots of injured. As much as I would have liked you in a tank your cot would do for now."

"Have you been here the whole time?" He questioned protectively, giving her hand a small squeeze.

She shook her head. "Poe, Finn, and Rose took me out a few times to eat. See the crowds of people wanting to thank me..." She shook her face free of the many loose threads of hair. "Most of the time I came back to see you."

He smiled, but just barely, he was still rather tired but he knew a small smile would convey the point. "You didn't have to."

"You crashed. Multiple times, I was scared." Her voice wavered earnestly. "You began to even out yesterday afternoon, but I didn't want to take a chance and miss something."

Warmth spread across his cheeks, bringing bacm some form of colour back to his ghostly pale face. "I ultimately thought I was giving you the rest of my own life force when I brought you back." He watched as her features began to twist with emotion. "The time I got to spend with you afterwards was merely a bonus. I was ready and content with that sacrifice."

Small tears surfaced in the corners of her eyes, a sheet of liquid now illuminating her eyes sparkled under the medical lighting. "Well I wasn't content with that." Rey choked out. "Thank you. Really I mean it. My parents gave their lives so that I may live... You were ready to lay your life down to give me another chance.. I feel like I don't deserve that."

"You're deserving of anything good in these worlds, sweetheart." He spoke almost sternly, but lovingly, wannabe scolding her for not having the self worth he saw in her. His term of endearment perked her right up and her eyes wavered with the purest joy. He hadn't even thunk twice about the word, but it felt natural and if she had the same reaction to it he'd call her that name everyday for the rest of his life if he could.

She departed from her perch on her chair and edged to the side of his cot, laying a gentle hand on his chest. "You're what I wanted. And I got you." She spoke softly and warmly, tracing a small circle into his grey medical garb.

"I'm not sure that's a good thing in this world."

With a roll of her eyes she ignored his comment. "So how do you feel? Better I hope?"

He paused to mentally feel out his body parts. Chest still hurt and his right side still had a lazy ache to it, but beyond that the feeling of death did not keep him in its grips.

"Much better." Though the small circles she traced could definitely put him in a love induced lull that was sure to knock him out if she continued. "For the record, I am happier to be alive. With you."

Rey smiled a big dimply smile. "I don't know what I would have done if I lost you.."

He felt the loss of Rey once. He didn't wish that upon her, so he would take his health seriously.

Ben propped himself up on his elbows slowly. "Am I able to leave soon, do you know?" He felt almost adamant to leave for two reasons. One, the guilt of taking up a cot in their small medical wing and the use of their short supplied stims. Already he felt unwanted but to be treated across the way from a pilot on deaths door didn't seem right. His second reason would be prolonged stays in the medbay conveyed weakness and although he felt like he's shaken the need to look powerful, he worried that maybe frustrated and angry Resistance troops here may burst through the doors guns blazing.

"They wanted to check on you once you gained some form of consciousness." She threaded a finger through his hair now it was within reach. Soft, it must have been washed when she was away. "I'm sure they'll make their rounds soon."

Ben pushed himself and sat up completely so he could now look down on Rey, tingles of energy trickled down his system. "I need to stretch my legs."

Her eyes quickly panned to the pair of machines keeping track of his vitals. They weren't wired any longer, instead small gadgets were embedded on the skin and transmitted recordings to the monitors. If he wasn't tied down with wires she supposed it was okay.

"Alright." Rey slid off the edge of the bed and her black booties padded against the cold stool with a slap. "Go slow." She held her arms out for him to take, which he gratefully did.

Clad in his grey capris and grey tunic he clambered out of the bed carefully clutching onto her presented forearm. Bare feet placing down on the cool tile, an instant relief from under the heavy blanket they had him under. He watched her lower gaze to glance at his feet.

His brow twinged. "What?"

"N-nothing." She grimaced. "I feel like I know you so well but really I don't know you. Weird to imagine you without your big boots on, or wearing regular clothes. Or having a morning routine."

"Well get used to it." He replied, though thinking about it he'd like to know how she would go about her days off, her go-to activities. Favourite drink, food, favourite time of day. Was she a morning person or a night person?

"You're up!"

They were quick to turn their heads to the sudden imposition, seeing a robed medical staff entering the room with a surprised face.

"If you could just sit on the cot for a mere moment..." She chirped happily, lightly tossing her hologram statboard on the counter across from his bed.

Ben let go of Rey and complied with her request, pulling the fabric of the capris up slightly to give more leeway to sitting down. He watched her silently pull a few gadgets from a sanitzed cabinet overhead and approach him, he recognized them as run of the mill medical equipment and not a bomb they've planted to have him offed, so he let out a drawn out breath. Rey stood beside him with arms crossed.

"How are you feeling today?" The doctor questioned, tinkering with a lit up dial on the gadget to calibrate it to the desired frequency.

"Much better than the other day." She nodded to his words. "Still aching but I no longer need to be hospital bound."

"Is that so?" She queried skeptically with Rey smirking. "Would you mind lifting your shirt?"

Without hesitation Ben met her request, finding the edge of his shirt and drawing it up past his pecs, revealing a grotesque scene of bruising that painted his skin in different colours of aging blood. He felt Rey's eyes burn holes into him with shock yet she remained silent. He glanced down curiously to see the fuss and bristled at the sight. He'd never been in such a bad state.

"You've broken nearly every rib on your right side and without free space available in the bacta tanks I'm afraid we could only make do with what rationed stims we had available. It may be back to old fashioned healing."

"That's fine."

Rey craned her neck to meet eyes with him. "I can heal you later-"

"-No." Ben stated bluntly, releasing his shirt so it curtained back over his injury.

"Not only the numerous broken bones but we imagine there's trauma to your inner organs that isn't surfacing yet, brain injury-" The doctor was interrupted by Rey.

"I can force heal you, Ben-" Rey insisted but was cut off yet again.

He squinted in her direction. "No, you're not doing that."

"You had no problem with me force healing you on Endor." She reminded.

The doctor stood patiently.

"After you nearly killed me." He pressed with a raised brow. The doctor now excused herself, this seemed as if it were getting personal, and the couple did not pay any mind to her early dismissal.

He continued. "I have been out cold for days now, the image of you laying _dead_ in the citadel ruins is still quite fresh for me. I'd rather let you regain all your energy and life essence before being drained again." Ben wavered when the word _dead_ passed through his lips. Her lifeless eyes that stared into nothingness and mouth agape, her limp body flopping into his arms when he held her. A tight knot formed in his throat. He'd never felt so absolutely helpless, he remembered looking around for any shred of help but no one was there for him, no force ghosts, and then he knew the only way to bring her back.

It wasn't how he imagined their first embrace to be.

Rey's lips twisted downwards and her eyes seemed to prickle again. "I know." She whispered. "I saw it. You climbing from the pit.. Picking me up." Her eyes and cheeks turned red. She managed to avoid thinking about their time in the citadel together through over worry of his health these past few days, thankfully, she thought, but reliving it now and seeing how pained he was to even speak of it made her want to curl up and cry. "Holding me like it would be the last time you did so."

Bens eyes coated themselves in a dewy sheen, red blotchyness appearing in his face.

They existed in silence for half a minute as they composed themselves. It wasn't something to unbox in a medical room Rey decided with a huff, and wiped away the few straggling tears. She pulled Bens head to the warm crook of her neck for another half a minute before placing a much needed kiss on his forehead and gently pushing him back into position.

"I wont force heal you. And if you want out of the medical bay we can leave if the doctor gives you the okay, but only then. Deal?"

"Deal."

The doctor returned and examined Ben thoroughly. Placing her previous gadget to his bare chest to listen in on his heart, his lungs, onto his back to listen from a different angle. It stuck to his skin and she read off her holographic board in her palms.

"When you came in you had a collapsed right lung, which we sorted to the best of our abilities, and by the sound of it your breathing has improved, but time is the best teller."

She held the gadget over his head and slowly hovered it all around at different angles.

She read off her pad curiously. "I suspected a brain bleed, _at the very least, _but your noggin' is in tip top shape."

Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

"What I _would _like as your medical professional is to observe you for at least one more night..." She eyed Ben for a response but he didn't fork one over. "But the way you're improving, maybe a bed in your own home would prove useful, but not by yourself. I'll leave the options available. For now I'll continue my rounds, so if I don't see you I imagine you made your choice."

"Thank you." Ben spoke with an understanding nod of his directions. They watched her retreat to another patient at the other side of the room.

"I spoke with Poe."

His first instinct was to say _who? _but he knew she'd take it as a sassy remark so he obstained.

"He's General now." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Meaning his word goes around here."

"Will I be put to death?" Honestly he wouldn't be surprised, so this was mostly a legitimate question.

"_No._" She smirked. "He's not your biggest fan, but out of his _graciousness_ he's letting you take up a room."

"Why not share yours?" Ben questioned, curling his fingers around the metal railing of the cot idly, only noticing the lewd implication of his question now. Not that he expected to share a bed with her immediately, but if they were short on boardings some people would have to get cozy.

"I don't really have a room?" Rey tapped a finger to her chin in thought. "I sleep outside."

"_Outside_?" Did he hear her correctly?

She laughed smoothly. "It's what I'm used to!"

"I knew you were a scavenger girl, but didn't expect that. I guess I'll be learning a lot more about you soon enough." He smiled, and when she warmed to his outward expression of fondness he only wanted to smile more.

Bens clothing he staggered in with were returned to him, neatly folded but greatly in need for a washing. Maybe a bleaching, he figured as he clasped the fabric between his fingers and it nearly felt stiff with dried sweat. He'd woken up multiple times in cots drenched in blood so he supposed it could be worse.

He excused himself to the restroom to change. He would have worn the hospital attire out if he could because they smelled fresh and felt soft against his bruised skin but who was he to take from another that may need them. He pulled the shirt over his head with a slow ease, over extention of his arms already panged deeply in his body so he was sure to take his time.

With a blank expression he looked at his bare chest in the mirror with analytical eyes. They panned from right to left, from his shoulders down to his hip bones were his hospital pants hung. Old scars and new, he could point out exactly how and when he acquired them, and by who. His finger idly touched over the rippled skin, the texture of torn skin improperly healed over by him hiding wounds so Snoke never knew he was bested in battle even in the slightest.

It was trivial now when he thought about it, but at the time he was so frightened of failure. Countless times he'd allowed a wrist or rib to heal indented and later required correcting and for what? Going back in to put his bones back in place amounted to more scarring. Perhaps this was to be his person shame to view everyday for the rest of his life. His body itself was a battle zone and not a sight for most to see.

If he had a choice he would have opted out of Rey seeing the condition he was in. Maybe it was his inward self-loathing or marred self confidence but he thought maybe her seeing just how much battle he'd seen she'd be put off.

He blinked and refocused on the image in the mirror.

Ben removed his trousers and folded them up with the shirt on the rim of the durasteel sink. He wasn't keen on handing over the boxers they so graciously clothed him in, but he was sure they wouldn't mind. Carefully he removed the shirt that was folded in the box and let it unfold itself, his basic black long sleeve from under his tunic. He fit his head through the hole and managed his arms in decently well, and in the mirror he eyed the hole which Rey gave him. He toyed with it idly before pushing his legs through the black dirtied pants he wore, grimy with sweat and dirt from the climb up the pit. He sat on the edge of the toilet and painstakingly pulled his socks and boots over his feet, which nearly made him outwardly cringe having to wear worn socks but he would find a new wardrobe soon enough.

Before leaving he ran the sink with the coldest water the handle would allow, watching it circle down the drain for a moment to reach peak coldness before cupping it into his hands and splashing it over his face. That was sure to wake him up.

Rey was sitting on his hospital bed looking out into the room where other patients lay with her hands clasped in her lap. He felt his own features soften at the scene but a sad thought crossed his mind. He felt like she thought she was tied down to him, indebted to him, hindered by his survival. She should be out with friends, outside where she loved, laughing.

He pursed his lips together. What use would he be to her? Aside from the medical attention he needed for at least the next week, what exactly would she gain that she wouldn't get somewhere else? He was tired of being selfish and taking whatever it is he pleased. Rey deserved a lot more than that. He wanted her but does she really know what she needs beyond surface level? He would be vilified the rest of his waking life and that was something he accepted but it was an unfair burden to place on her. She would be judged the rest of her own waking life if she associated with him.

"What are you doing?"

She ripped him from his thoughts, her head craned over her shoulder to the sound of the restroom door swirling shut behind him.

"Debating on where to leave their garb."

She knew it was a lie but she played along. "I'm sure leaving it on the bed is fine." She slid off the edge of the bed and faced him. "I'll take you to your room? Maybe we can get some food in you."

"If you don't have anything better to do." He sat the box down on the cot where he lay for days. No wonder his back ached.

She smiled thoughtfully. "Of course I don't."

"No parties?" He raised a brow.

"Well probably but I'm not one for big parties." She jerked her thumb toward the door. "Shall we? It's not that far, promise."

He nodded and followed by her side, trying his absolute best to stand up as straight as he normally would, though it pained him to do so he didn't particularly want the Resistance to think he was playing up injury for sympathy points.

Finn watched as they left the medical wing with a neatral expression. Rey had opted out of nearly every get-together he mustered up, even smaller ones like she said she preferred, all to stay by Kylo Rens side - Bens side, Finn corrected himself.

Rey had him correct himself on the few times he dragged her from Bens side. Finn would look down at the man who lay unconscious, his vitals uneven and worrisome to medical professionals. He stood there with anger erupting in his stomach but when Rey would look up at him with nothing but fear raging behind her eyes he would soften up and drag up a chair beside her. He would ask how Ben was doing and Rey would explain quickly with adrenaline jittering through her exactly what was going on with him. He'd pull her out back to the cafeteria to share a meat bowl because she insisted she wasn't hungry but in the end she ate most of his bowl. She needed the energy, Finn figured. She was a mess and Finn finally understood why. It was true, the last time he saw them interact they were doing some circus-level acrobatics off slippery ship ruins in the heat of a ocean storm, very dramatic like he might add, but Rey's comment about it being more _complicated_ made much more sense now. They had a weird way of showing love.

But as Finn watched them leave the long corridor he felt nothing but relief. When he assisted Rey in hauling Ben's half-conscious self he could feel it. Initially he thought Ben chose the winning side for self preservation, which made sense, he seemed incredibly selfish, but when he touched Ben's shoulder it was a strange feeling he knew came from the force. He didn't sense an evil aura, plotting to kill the Resistance from within while taking advantage of Rey. Instead he felt a broken man full of anguish and pain, and most importantly love for Rey.

Finn swallowed thickly and proceeded into the large room where Ben had been resting. "So, he's all good now?" He questioned the female doctor working this room full of injured patients. Normally they wouldn't give patient information but seeing as how Ben had no immediate family and she'd seen Finn in there multiple times she complied.

"Seeing as how I was sure he was to die within the hours you both brought him in, he's doing amazingly well." Finn smiled at this. Rey deserved it. "But boy do they bicker like an old married couple." She snorted and he laughed along with her.

* * *

_Next chapter: Ben stays bedridden to heal and Rey takes care of him. Poe decides Bens fate._

OMG_! Thank you all so much for the outpour of love for my little story I pulled together in my TROS ending rage!_

_Reviews are so loved! As well as the follows and favourites !_ _Please let me know thru review if you're still keen on this story so I know to keep writing or not haha_

_PS. please let me know if I stray away from being in character for any of them, I'm scared I'll mess up either Ben or Rey._


	3. Closed Eyes

_C.3 - Closed Eyes_

* * *

Rey helped him into the full sized bed in his newly given quarters. He'd made an argument for her to help him to the sofa in the lounge instead but she adamantly refused, stating she knew just how sore these awkwardly shaped sofas made anybody feel sitting on them longer than half an hour.

So Ben listened, taking a seat on the side of his bed and slowly leaning in towards the headboard, positioning up against it in a nearly seated position.

Rey paced back to the door and kicked off her boots, not bothering to sit them against the wall uniformly like he had with his boots. He was intrigued with her way of life. Raised herself on a desolate planet, choosing to live outside, a true nonconformist. It felt so opposite to his situation growing up. Always under somebody elses wing and taken care of in wealth. He wondered if she would allow herself down time, to be taken care of, doted on. Not that he was any good at it, that he knew of, he'd never focused on somebody's needs over his own ever.

"I'll order some basic fridge stocking?" She asked like it was a run of the mill question, as if they were an ordinary _couple _needing to restock their pantry from the local grocer. Ben found comfort in the fact that she brought some aspect of a normal life to him, watching fondly as she pulled her side bag over her head to leave on the kitchen island. Yet they hadn't even discussed what the future held for them, was her intent to just order food for _him _in this apartment of _his_? Or to order _them _food for their _shared_ space? His stomach curled queasily at the thought of the former. He thought to himself drearily how done he was with the isolated life and sharing a space with her would be preferred.

"I think I could manage that." Ben started from across the room, feeling himself sink into the bed as comfort gripped him completely, a feeling he long since thought was lost.

"We can do it together?" Rhetorical question he figured because she already clasped the kitchen datapad in her hands and treaded toward him with intentions to get started. With almost pathetic excitedness he hoped she'd sit near him on the bed, he didn't even need her to be physically touching him for him to be happy but after feeling what it was like to be in close proximity to her he'd like to experience more of that.

Rey made her way onto the opposite side of the large bed at first, ample room for her to choose anywhere to place herself, but on hands and knees she crawled toward him, only stopping once she was cross legged beside him.

Not even half a week ago they had been clashing sabers in a dramatic battle, rain soaked and freezing, battle torn, at least he was. Now she sat inches away from him, content face, lax features, calmly scanning over the pad with her index finger lazily swiping to the ordering section.

"Relax." She broke him from his daze, offering up her eyes over the pad to his own startled ones. "Why are you thinking like that."

Ben mentally cursed himself, forgetting for a bit there just how strong their bond really was. He'd have to be more vigilant with how freely he felt his own emotions he wanted to mask. "I'm just wondering how long this will last."

"What's _this_?" She questioned, lowering her arms to rest on her crossed legs, raising an eyebrow at the surprise question.

"You and I. Before you realize being tied down to me long term doesn't sound all that fun. Having your friends second guess your decisions, silently judging you for associating with me."

Rey scoffed with an eyeroll to match. "I can handle naysayers Ben. You should trust my word, not some falsities that may or may not happen, and _won't _happen."

"Is that so?"

"Besides, as much as I love my friends... I still feel lonely most of the time." Her stern eyes softened as she looked down on his figure against the headboard. "Maybe it's from the years of being a hermit but it's been hard for me to fully integrate with them. I tried so hard to get away from my life on Jakku but now it's what I miss the most."

He lifted his wrist and placed his bruised hand on her shin, feeling the warmth under his thumb as he smoothed it over her skin, similar to the circles she traced on him in the hospital wing. It made him feel better so he hoped it carried the same weight to her, at least until he knew for certain what triggered her comfort levels.

"I miss my childhood from time to time, despite having resented and repressed those memories for so long." He admitted freely. Oddly enough he felt a weight release, he hid that secret for so long, under the sense that missing anything from his previous life would lead Snoke to end him on the spot. "Not all of it, but there were some good memories.."

She smiled, small creases indenting in the outer corners of her eyes and her smile lines poked through. "Like what?" She snuck her hand over his and dug her fingers delicately between his thumb and index finger to touch his palm.

For someone who had next to no physical contact with people for most of her life she really knew how to show affection Ben figured happily. "Hoth, one of the very few places we went as a family."

"Hoth..." Rey drew with an inquisitive eyebrow raise. "The snowy planet? And of course the rebel base?"

"_Just _snow and ice, it wasn't particularly riveting for a kid. It had sentimental value to them, so we went for a few days."

"I've never seen snow!" Rey exclaimed with a grin from ear to ear. "What do you mean not fun for a kid, playing in the snow wasn't your thing?"

Ben shrugged with a small sheepish smile. "First thing Han did when we landed was throwing me into a snow pile, so I decided to be in a bad mood and not partake in the snow."

"Awwww." She laughed heartily. "I can picture that scene perfectly."

"I'll take you one day, when I'm healed."

She beamed, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Really?" She scooted closer eagerly. "Will you let me force heal you so that can happen sooner?"

Ben chuckled but as soon as he did he winced, using his free right hand to instinctively reach for his injured chest. "Not a chance." He breathed out with a furrowed brow, focusing on getting this pain to die down.

"Sorry." She chuckled herself, giving his hand still on her a gentle squeeze. "This will be a no laugh zone from now on until those ribs of yours are healed up."

Rey uncrossed her legs and carefully maneuvered away from his position, his hand falling to the blanket below and disappointment draped his face. "Oh relax." She chimed. Instead of crawling off the bed she curled her legs under her body, watchfully lowering herself down beside him to lean against the headboard, her front flush against the left side of his body. She nuzzled her chin to rest on his shoulder.

"So you'll take me to Hoth?" She reiterated happily, snaking her arm over his torso to feel like she was holding him closer. She thought to herself how nice this felt, how she'd missed out all these years on holding someone and being held, physical touch, passion, love.

But she wouldn't have wanted it with anyone else, a memory flashed in her eyes, a man back at Jakku asked for a date, a passing junker. She vehemently denied, though she felt flattered, she knew it wasn't the right timing to get into anything. Everything led up to these perfect moments she indulged in now.

"Hoth... anywhere you want." He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning his head against the top of hers comfortably.

"Anywhere?" She teased playfully. "Don't give me that power, I'll have us visiting planets for well into the future." She felt him smile against her head. "I'd like to explore. Broaden my horizons."

"Alone?" It escaped his lips, the dreaded question. She could say all she wanted she would be against 'Ben Solo naysayers' but what did she really want? He needed to know now - but he figured it didn't matter, he was too deep in the pit to crawl out this time. "If you miss life on Jakku does that include the solitude?"

"No." She stated simply. "I think I've moved passed that stage in my life now." She thought back to the Aki-Aki younglings on Pasaana as they giggled happily watching their puppet show. More and more she found herself becoming enamored with children and babies, her heart bubbling over with some innate primal want for the same thing. On Jakku when she witnessed traders with bored and sun burnt children in tow she almost felt... guiltily, she admitted to herself, anger that her own parents abandoned her. She wasn't keen on children because it reminded her of her own stunted youth. A lot of things had changed over the year she spent 'abroad'.

She continued, pulling her fingers to his side careful not to squeeze him too tight. "When you're healed, and we feel like business here is taken care of we can leave. Explore, do things on our schedule. Just us. No strings anywhere until need be."

Ben breathed happily. "I like the sound of that."

They lay for a while longer before Rey breathed heavily and struggled with pulling the tablet out from under her thigh. "Let's order some groceries."

The light from the device caused them both to shy away from the screen for a moment after they nearly dozed off in bed but Rey was the first to come back, pulling up the order screen where she last left it. "What do you eat? I don't even know."

Ben faltered for a moment as he pulled at memories of the last time he actually sat down for a meal. "Meat, fruits, vegetables, proteins.." He shrugged. "I've been living off nutrient stims while busy this past while."

"Nutrient stims sounds better than what I lived off of for most of my life." She snickered. "Rations that consisted of polystarch, mixed with water it would make a loaf. Then a slice of veg-meat thrown on a skillet to go with it."

"Sounds disgusting." He commented, but the mental image of Rey making a chemical reaction loaf and a slice of probable sickly old meat out in the desert made him want to smile. He thought to himself inwardly if she made him that meal he'd most likely try it, just to please her.

Rey flicked down the food list and added plenty of produce to the cart, meal bases, snacks, the complete works. She finished her total and up came the message saying a droid would be by soon enough with the items. It was nice not having to work for her meal, Rey thought, but she missed the independence. They'd be off this planet soon enough and that gave her enough encouragement to keep going.

After nearly dozing off again in a blissful cuddle thr alarm shrieked at the door, an impatient finger on the apartment screen on the other side, sounding a blaring ring into the air.

"Ah, that must be the food!" Rey jumped out of Ben's arms at the initial sound, eyes the size of dinner plates, small smudges of sleepy eye goop blinked away as she regained composure. "I'll grab it."

She crawled off the bed and Ben straightened up against the headboard, eyes focusing on the door. He wasn't normally one for paranoid delusions but he found himself being subconsciously on guard far more than he ever was before. He imagined who was behind the door - of course it could be the delivery bot with their groceries, but it _could _be an assassin droid sent by angered Resistance troops still thirsting for his death. He pressed his lips into a nervous thin line as she drew closer to the door, his hand ready to inflict any force ability on an intruder if need be.

Rey waved her hand in front of their side of the door panel and it hissed open, swirling and allowing the bright light from the hallway into the dimmed quarters.

"Poe." Rey smiled with surprise and raised brows. "What brings you here?"

Ben felt _slightly _less tense than he was imagining some assassin bursting through and hurting Rey but he wasn't out of the clear, immediately their eyes met and he knew he was in for a talking to.

"Thought I'd stop by." Poe voiced nonchalantly with a small shrug, peering over Rey's shoulder to lock eyes with his former enemy. "General duties and all."

"Thank you again for the quarters, they were definitely needed."

Poe nodded with appreciation to her words. "Yeah no problem." He peered back to Ben for a moment before glancing back to her. "Mind if I come in?"

Rey peered to Ben for permission, shooting him a warm _please?_ smile at him so they could avoid any unnecessary drama.

Ben inwardly sighed. He knew this was coming he just hoped he could be just a _bit _more composed before he got verbally railed. "By all means."

"Thanks." Poe spoke and entered when Rey stepped aside to allow him admission. Rey kicked her boots behind her and out of the way with the soles of her socked feet in hopes he wouldn't trip over them, they tumbled over Bens boots by the wall.

"I see you're making yourself at home?" He questioned with a raised brow and a smirk, noticing her lazy boots and packsack tossed onto the counter.

She shrugged. "Air conditioning is actually _pretty _nice."

"No kiddin'." Poe grimaced and punched his balled hand into his awaiting palm to bide time before he had to get down to business. He paced slowly into the centre of the room, still awkwardly tip-toeing around the subject he tossed around in his mind.

Finally he gazed upon Ben sitting upright in the bed, their brown eyes staring intently into each other's, and Rey watched from her position beside Poe with a squinted glare. Some sort of weird alpha male assertion, she thought? Whatever it was it was annoying. She crossed her arms over her chest and meandered to the edge of the bed and took a seat.

"Ack, get on with it." She begged with half lidded eyes and the beginning of a scowl. While Ben was still unconscious in the hospital and Rey vouched unconditionally for his protected stay, Poe took her word for Ben's seemingly sudden switch around.

What Rey didn't know, was that Finn had also corroborated her statement of _Ben's _turn to the good side. So Poe knew he wasn't here to conduct some anti first order raid, but rather check in and see for himself what Rey had been up to these past few days.

"How are you feeling?" He inquired curiously, raising a gentle brow in Bens direction. "Last time I saw Rey you'd crashed and she raced out of the cafeteria."

"Better than when I stumbled in." Ben replied coolly, keeping his sharp eyes trained on the guest in the home. He knew Poe wasn't bringing harm to Rey - and _probably _not him, but he couldn't shake the urgent feeling of flight. The last time he'd confronted Poe was not a friendly situation.

Poe let out a small dry chuckle. "You were pretty rough." Poe flicked his eyes to Rey, she looked up at him intently, almost waiting for a sarcastic side comment. Well she wasn't going to get one, today at least, he was going to respect her wishes and be lenient on him. "I just wanted to touch base with you two, see how things were."

"He's still got a fair bit of healing to do." Rey breathed in relief with a warm smile, cocking her head to the side to eye Ben lovingly. "Maybe in a few weeks he'll be somewhat back to normal." She glanced back to Poe. "Other than that nothing's too different. How're the parties?"

"Eh." Poe shrugged. "Neverending but definitely fun. Kind of surprised you haven't shown your face, you're kind of the heart of the party." He looked at Ben. "You I'm not so surprised about."

Rey laughed. "We definitely strike everyone as social butterflies don't we?"

"Yes. Yes you do." Poe played along with a grimace. "Anyways, real reason I came here, actually."

That sentence wiped the smile off Rey's face and replaced it with a worried downturn of her lips. "Something the matter?"

"No! No." Poe showed his hands defensively to the implicating words, a snide smile surfacing as he realized maybe he caused the innate fear in her. "You both know I had to think about what had to be done, with you specifically." He gazed at Ben and returned his hands to his side, tucking his right thumb into his black cargo jean pocket.

Ben figured this was coming. Arrested, detained for interrogation as a way of getting back to him? He straightened up in bed with the expectation arising in him that he would be detained, for what he'd done he deserved at least that.

"Lotta people are calling for your head, _lots. _We don't operate like that, not without a fair trial. _However..._"

Rey perked up at the last word.

"However. Your darling Rey here has profusely backed you up since the second you were laid in that hospital bed. Finn said the same thing, and I trust those two more than anyone."

Ben attempted to raise a brow but he just couldn't find the energy.

"Rey told us you saved her from death, if that doesn't say _expunge my record _I don't know what does... So Finn and I as acting Generals decided to do that. It's what Leia would have wanted, anyways."

Ben could feel his features soften and the adrenaline that coursed his veins dilute. Relief flooded over him, relief from an anxiety he hadn't even focused on yet. He thought for certain he'd face some penalty, jail time despite his promise to take Rey around the galaxy, a promise he thought would be broken.

"Just one thing, pretty much everyone here hates you and I don't know who spilled the beans that you are who you are, so maybe no frolicking around the base, you two? Once he's healed, it'd be best if he vacated, for his own safety. Once our troops and allies disperse back to their home planets I'm sure things here will be fine if you want to stay-"

"Poe thank you!" Rey leapt from the bed and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

Poe laughed desperately, almost an attempt for air as her squeeze grew around his airway. "Of course, Rey-" He laughed again for air before she leaned off her tip toes and stared at him with the widest smile imaginable, hands on her hips, absolutely beaming.

Ben managed to his feet and despite the pain that shot through his body, particularly his ribcage, he didn't allow it to surface on his face. He extended his right hand between the two, after all he couldn't accept a total obliteration of a record without a thank you. Though he inwardly smiled to himself - he didn't have a great track record with people accepting his hand shakes.

"Thank you." Ben voiced without waver, strong, to convey he meant his words. He stood tall against Poe, towering over both him and Rey despite the immense aching pressure against his ribs. "Like Rey said, it's immensely appreciated."

Poe took his hand and shook it powerfully, their eyes meeting, both slightly squinting, assessing the other. Seconds later they let go, their hands faling back to their respective sides. Poe gave him a nod before giving Rey a friendly hug goodbye and waving himself out the door.

"Well that went much better than I imagined." Rey scratched at her head with a sheepish smile. "He'd promised no hostility toward you to me earlier but he was almost downright ... nice to you."

Ben nodded in agreeance, easing himself back down to the bed with the aid of her sturdy arm. "His benevolence speaks volumes of his character, especially toward me."

Rey assisted him back to leaning against the metal headboard, pulling the pillows behind him to provide adequate support. "Poe's a great guy. He's quite _prickly_ sometimes, but I suppose you both are alike in that regard."

Ben smiled, from both her comment and the cute way she proded the environment around him to establish security. "You think I'm prickly?"

Rey grimaced. "The prickliest."

The groceries had arrived and Ben watched helpessly from the bed as she paced the kitchenette back and forth. He felt a pang of guilt he was unable to assist but he soon forgot about his predicament and fell into the show before him. Watching her extend her slender arms to reach the empty fruit bowl in an above cabinet, the way she mindlessly organized the fruits in the bowl to her liking. She popped a small fruit into her mouth with her index finger thoughtlessly, he was completely enamored with her.

He swore in this very moment he was the luckiest man alive. A smile surfaced on his lips. He would never take this for granted again.

The rest of the day, what was left of it, was spent with Rey cooking up a simple egg meal for the two of them on a pan in the kitchen. They ate and talked about nothing in particular as if they led completely normal lives before this day.

Ben finally was able to shower after profusely telling her he'd be able to stand in the shower for five minutes. The steaming water coated him and all he could do was sigh with relief. He'd been washed in the hospital but since he lacked consciousness to actually feel bathed, this shower was very much needed.

It was time to rest. He smiled when he exited the restroom to find she'd peeled back the blankets of the bed for him already. She sat at the island in the kitchen with her small hands wrapped around a mug, steam rising off the surface and warming her face.

It was late now, so he figured this would be the last time he'd leave the bed. He made his way over and sat on the sheeted mattress with an exhale. Whatever the hospital had injected him earlier on in the morning had began wearing off a few hours ago, and his chest began to ache and throb with ripe new pain.

"Shower leave you feeling nice?" She questioned from across the room, loudly sipping from the lip of the mug, curling her toes around the black rod holding the stool legs together. She was blissfully unaware that his injuries were beginning to seep back.

He nodded. "Much better." He thought it preferable to keep her in the dark about the wave of physical pain, who knew what she'd decide to do about it. "Where are you sleeping tonight?"

He knew where he'd _like _her to sleep, but his likes and her wants and needs could be very different. Besides, he wondered to himself if she really did favour the outdoors over a protective indoor suite. He felt inclined to let her sleep elsewhere tonight, he feared this may be a rough night full of restlessness as most nights often were lately, but moreso because of his pounding ribs. Ben didn't want to subject her to that. He cocked his head upwards and to the right to stare at her until she answered.

"These past few nights I've been by your side in the hospital.." Her fingers nervously burnished the smooth ceramic mug. "Even last night after your doctor assured me you'd make it through the night I was too scared. Maybe if you don't mind, I'd like to stay. Make sure I'm here if you need something."

A small warm smile surfaced on his lips. Was this a dream? He really couldn't shake the lingering feeling he perished during battle and out of pity he was allowed through the force to exist on some ethereal plane of happy existance.

She finished her drink and washed the mug as he begrudgingly pushed his limits to lean into an almost laying position in the bed under the thin covers. He wasn't sure where she was going to choose to sleep for the night in the room- again, he knew what he preferred but he couldn't fault her for having boundaries. He made sure to lay in the bed and leave the ball in her court.

Ben exhaled deeply as he finally got comfortable with the ceiling staring down on him from way up there. Rey paced past the bed to the restroom, he watched her enter and close the door behind her without noticing his set of eyes. He reset his head facing upwards to stare back into the grey mass of wall hanging over him. He felt like a portion of the pain had been alleviated from him, he supposed from sitting awkwardly all day on the bed hadn't been the best move on his mangled ribs, so prone position removed the pressure. He sighed again with a close of his eyes, feeling _much _better...

By the time Rey had finished cleaning her mouth and opened the restroom door back to the bedroom area, she found Ben completely asleep in the bed.

With a smile she rested the side of her head against the doorframe and stared down at the scene before her in pure bliss, cherishing the moment only she got to see.

He was _safe. _Here, with her, and not as a captive from the war. He'd turned back to the light side for _her, _put the rest of his life on the line just to save her_. _Her smile broadened just at the thought of it. If that didn't show the utmost sign of love she wasn't sure what else could be done.

She crawled on the bed careful not to wake up. It didn't, he barely even noticed her in his sleeping state, which she grimaced to - she couldn't have him waking. Kneeling beside him, she carefully hovered both hands over his right side ribcage, where the plethora of damaged ribs resided.

Rey sheepishly stared to his face to look for any signs of wakefulness. She knew he said no vehemently to being heed - but she wasn't all that good at taking no for an answer. He'd soon learn that side of her wasn't only present in war times.

Afterwards she lifted the covers over her body, a wave of warmth washing over her from the trapped heat of his healing body. She curled into a comfy tight ball and nuzzled her face into the corner of his pillow, snaking her arm up to just wrap her hand around his bicep.

She could deal with the consequences in the morning.

* * *

_Next chapter: Ben is healed and the duo make last arrangements on_ _Ajan Kloss_.

Ackkk_, I'm sorry this chapter feels so long winded! For some reason this chapter I felt disconnected with writing in character so I apologize if it didn't sound believable._

My_ semester started last week but I'm gonna try real hard to keep up with updates!_

_As always THANK YOU FOR THR LOVE!! Please keep the reviews up they make me so happy ahh. _


	4. Blast Off

_C.4 - Blast Off_

* * *

Refreshing. A pair of brown eyes peered open suddenly to the light pouring in from the window above the bed frame. Daytime already? Ben licked his lips and squeezed his eyes shut then back open in an attempt to wake his heavy feeling eyelids. He felt _good._

He was certain it was from an actual night of sleep, he hadn't had that in a while besides laying dormant in the hospital for a few days. He was accustomed to either plowing through the night with various missions and raid planning or laying on his bed with eyes wide open, thinking, maybe drifting off a few times.

He let his head tilt to the side on his pillow to look down on her with half lidded eyes. In a complete shocker he only woke once in the night to notice her company, still cocooned in the sheets neatly with her face tucked under the corner of his pillow. In the middle of the night and even now he was happily taken aback she had chosen to share the bed with him, and despite it being a large bed that could house them separately, she chose to snug down at his side. With a smile he could only wish he was awake to hold her once in the night instead of sleeping pin straight to keep his ribs in place.

Uncovering his right arm from under the sheets he slowly reached over and touched at her cheek bone to brush away a few stray locks that framed her face. Unsatisfied, he rested his hand on the side of her head and as lightly as he could, stroking her cheek. It was warm and softer than any skin he'd touched before, sun kissed and perfect. She stirred under his touch but she seemed to be a heavy sleeper so he sighed contently. He could do this all day.

But he couldn't. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a dresser and a nagging feeling told him to scour the drawers for any scrap of clothing he could find. Currently he was still in his black long sleeved under shirt and basic black trousers from almost a week ago and he was in utter surprise Rey still wanted to be around him, but thankfully he practiced basic hygiene so he wasn't profoundly rank.

He daintily lifted the sheets off his body and layered them over her sleeping frame without suspicion. He leaned up and prepared for the onset of his injury related pain but nothing surfaced - _yet. _He was sure it would hit him sooner rather than later.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, his socked feet touching down on the cool tile below. Maybe he was a tad bit of a prude but he was _not _one for wearing the same socks and undergarments over the course of a few days, so as he stared down at the black socks he wore he leaned ever further down to wedge his finger under the elastic band and peeled them off. His brows furrowed - _my ribs? _No ache, nothing. _Peculiar_. He ripped the second sock off and tossed them into the clothing hamper hanging from the wall across the bed.

Ben carefully stood from the bed and stared down at her waiting for some sort of movement but she remained fast asleep. _Good._

He paced across the tile with long strides and clasped the metal handles between his finger tips, pulling it open discreetly. Empty. His brow twitched. The second drawer, empty, and his brow furrowed. He knew it was a slim chance but he had to try. The third drawer revealed a few articles of fabric which he hurriedly dove his hand in for. He retrieved a pair of grey capris almost identical to the hospital garb he was dressed in the other day. He supposed his black trousers would make do, he wasn't particularly fond of the idea he'd walk around in hospital attire. He then pulled out a simple matching grey t-shirt, which he flipped around in his hands to inspect before checking the size. It would do.

He found himself in the bathroom to change and use the facilities. Clasping his long sleeve from the bottom he pulled upwards and brought it over his head, throwing his mane of dark hair around wildly. Something caught his eye in the mirror.

As the shirt fell to the floor while he stared into the mirror in both confusion and distress it donned on him. "That sneaky scavenger girl." He shook his head with a sigh.

Healed. His bruising gone, just his pale monotone skin shining back at him in his reflection. It was no wonder he felt refreshed this morning.

Ben opened the bathroom door while holding his new shirt in hand. This wasn't something he was going to let go. When the door swirled open he saw her hazel eyes staring up at him, face still nestled cozily into the bed, he could almost see the guilty look sparkle in those big beautiful eyes.

"Did you really?" He questioned with a raised brow, touching at his chest with his free hand. "I thought we had a deal."

The rest of her face was cozied under the blanket but he could see the growing creases by her eyes, she was smiling under there. He couldn't fault that face for doing something out of the kindness of her heart.

"No wonder you didn't wake when I did." He muttered, pulling the shirt over his chest, a tight fit but he was going to go on a hunt later on this day for essentials.

"Well do you feel better?" She questioned, leaning up on her right elbow and using her left hand to scratch away at the corners of her eyes.

He hated admitting it. "I do. I was in a lot of pain last night. I hope you're feeling well this morning."

"Oh I am." Rey smiled in his direction and sat up, cross legged under the tossed around sheets. He noticed a renegade sock at the foot of the bed and he figured she had a good sleep as well if that thing managed to slide off. "You were asleep pretty fast last night, you must have been hurting."

"I don't even remember closing my eyes." He definitely would have stayed up later with her if it meant spending more time together. "I've never slept through the night like that."

"Neither have I." She toyed around on the elastic of her lone sock with a gentle smile. "Granted I've slept outside nearly all my life, but I like to think it was because I slept next to you."

Ben offered to make breakfast this morning out of the remaining shred of guilt she had taken care of him the previous day - but he didn't feel _as_ guilty as he would have felt had she not broken her end of the healing deal.

Rey watched him move into the kitchen from her spot on the bed with big curious eyes. Now that he was thankfully healed she could start to form some visualization of the domestic Ben. How he spent off time, if he ever did, how he took care of himself, his habits, things he did that were sure to grow to become a pet peeve of hers. As he maneuvered his hands around the fridge she silently padded over to the stool at the kitchen counter to watch the show more diligently.

He set the same pan she used last night over the element with one hand and raised the temperature up, red swirls immediately lighting up. He cracked the eggs with just one hand, that caught her attention - she always managed to fudge up cracking eggs and thankfully he didn't notice yesterday, but she was certain she picked out all the shell pieces.

"Do you always cook for yourself?" She questioned, resting her elbows on the counter and her chin on her entwined fingers.

He didn't gaze over his shoulder to glance at her as he answered. "No. I had droids for that."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "_Of course _you did."

He shrugged and she assumed he grimaced. "I was a busy man."

"Yes, chasing after me every waking second must have been very time consuming." She stated simply, she wanted to keep a plain face but a broad toothy grin found its way to her face, especially after he finally peeked at her with accusatory eyes.

"It _was_. You were hard to find." He plated their food and slid her plate over the smooth surface of the island just enough so it stopped right in front of her. Steam rose off the freshly beaten egg and warmed her face.

Dishes were done once they had finished and all the food had been picked off their plates. Again it was a rather run of the mill interaction, she sat across from him and ate and they spoke more about their heavy sleep. Rey held onto any little scrap of personal information he gave, any insight into the person he was behind the mask.

"Before we get to anything I need to get myself more clothes." Ben hid away the clean cutlery in their respective drawers, a simple domestic task that pulled at the most awe she could compose. "Know where I might do that?"

"Not particularly." She tapped her chin in contemplation. "We can see if there's some fatigues in the barracks, but other than that you may have more luck in some shopping district off world. Let me guess, you had people for that sort of thing."

"I did." He agreed bluntly as he leaned against the kitchen counter. "And let me guess - you made your own clothing with scraps you managed to find while scavenging for parts."

She chuckled softy. "Spot on actually."

Hauling her side bag over her head and onto her shoulder, she glanced behind her to make sure he was still following behind her. Their game plan right now was to low-key hunt for some extra clothes for Ben, at least until he was able to slowly accrue more for the future, and she emphasized the _low-key _part to him. Heads would be kept down and it would be an in and out operation.

They walked side by side down the long corridor in silent content when an intrusive memory washed over her. She remembered back to when she had just explained to Ben, at the time Kylo Ren, that she had seen his future, the clarity of it at the time had been astounding. They were only small fragments of visions - the first one consisted of their shared bond moment in the Emperor's citadel, when he had turned back to the light and returned for her, fighting his own team to get to her. The second being this exact moment, walking down a bleak white hallway, not as enemies but as partners. At the time she saw the vision she had trouble deciphering the second blurb, unsure of the context behind why they casually walked side by side, or at what point in time it had occured.

Rey stared up at him happily as they continued on without catching his attention, just so she could read his face, bask in the _I was so right _feeling that constantly overwhelmed her these past few days. It was almost as if she had to slap herself awake to make sure it wasn't a dream and he had really taken her hand back to the light. Over the past year she could feel him slipping, losing the steps he had taken and the light he just barely grasped when they touched hands in Luke's hut. She didn't want to admit it but she almost lost all faith in his internal strength to push away what needed to be eradicated.

She tried hard to pull at the other small moments she saw along with those two visions but she failed - figuring now all she could do was wait for a recollection as it happened.

They happened upon a large atrium of sorts, or at least Ben figured but he grew suspicious as the foot traffic seemed low for a main hub area of the base. "I thought we were keeping a low profile." He commented with a raised brow.

"Exactly. Looks like most of the troops and supporters either have begun making their ways home or are currently out." She pointed to the floor down. "Barracks are there if I remember correctly."

Ben stood watch near the doors to the empty barracks with Reys knapsack tossed by his feet, his anxious eyes watching down the long sets of corridors leading to the atrium. Behind him Rey rummaged through large black metal totes that were filled to the brim with supplies chartered down from newly made connections.

He crossed his arms over his chest and watched her almost impatiently. Perhaps for her it was easier to assume she could help herself to supplies, but Ben stood with a flood of worry washing over him, if he'd been caught with her helping himself to their supplies he wasn't sure what exactly would happen. Poe definitely did insinuate that he need to lay low or get out of town before rumors became concrete, not be standing guard while his girl made away with a haul of clothing for him.

"I'd rather now just shop off world for clothing." He reiterated to her, watching only her back as she continued diligently.

"No I've got some things." She heaved and hoisted her body weight back to her feet, taking back a deep breath of air. "Lucky for you they don't scream for attention."

"Alright, let's go." A woman charted her way through the empty atrium mindlessly with her nose in a datapad, but regardless of them staying under the radar he preferred to be back in the safety of his own apartment.

"What you don't even want to look?" She questioned with a smile as she quickly gathered her findings into her arms.

Ben squinted in her direction. "I trust your judgement." The clothes weren't colored at all, anything other than that he'd toss back into the supply crate for others to pick at, so he felt content with her haul. He'd never shopped around for clothes ever in his life, at least that he could consciously remember. At Luke's academy he was given a standard beige tunic and robe set that held identical to every other student, and within the First Order he wore what seemed like a cliche dark outfit that he made arrangements for via tailor droids. He was determined to change a lot about himself but he just couldn't let go of the comfort darker clothing brought him.

"Okay we can go." Rey assured him and they set back on their path to the apartments, Ben remaining weary of groups of people that they crossed paths with. "Since you're healed, I think it's time we talk about leaving."

He was obviously uncomfortable here on Ajan Kloss within the confinements of the Resistance base, and rightfully so, he didn't particularly belong and three quarters of those who were stationed here would rather his head on a rail. They had every right to hate him but forcing him to remain under a roof without feeling safe wasn't fair to him, for what it was worth, at least to her.

"Already?" He questioned with a raised brow, his voice hushed as if someone were listening in around every corner.

She shrugged in agreeance. "I'd like to get out sooner rather than later, before people think I'm here to stay, but that's not to say I won't say goodbye to my friends." Warmth balled up in her stomach when she gazed upon his fond understanding expression. "We can leave in the night, when it's easier."

"Whatever you'd like." Ben swiped his hand in front of the door reader and his apartment opened before them. Relief washed over him when he realized he made an outing without being outed. "I didn't realize you were so eager to leave."

They entered and Rey dumped the pile on the counter while he removed his boots. "I'm excited to start a new chapter is all." She replied absentmindedly, tugging her messenger bag over her head and coiling it around the goods on the counter.

Ben stood tall next to her, a looming giant over her small stature. He inattentively sorted through what she hand picked for him, his hands sorting quickly as if he had one thing on his mind. As she kicked off her boots she heard a soft crinkle, Ben found the vacuum sealed bag of standard black boot socks. She figured he'd want those. He retreated to the restroom to change out of his old pair of black trousers and into a new similar pair she had found.

"Was wondering when you were coming out!" Rose cheered happily with outstretched arms, a broad toothy smile growing on her bright face. "Haven't seen you at all at any of the parties."

"Feels like it's been a while." Rey smiled back brightly and embraced her friend into a tight hug. With Rose having been so busy at Leia's side and Rey off in the jungle most of the time during the war efforts, they had barely been in contact. "Too long."

Beside Rose was Finn, trying hurriedly chew the food he crammed in his mouth before Rey entered the cafeteria, so he could properly greet his close friend.

"You how he gets when it's deep fried nuna legs at the cafeteria day." Rose joked as she sat back down, using her thumb to jerk in his direction as he just began to finish his bite.

"Oh I _know._" Rey grimaced, knowing all too well Finn had found this treat months ago and had been hooked ever since. "I'm surprised he hasn't depleted all the worlds nuna supply."

"That will be a sad day. Thankfully today is not that day." Finn replied with a smirk, letting the bare bone of the bird clank down to his plate from his fingers. "Surprised to see you out here alone. Everything good?"

"Of course!" She smiled outwardly as a sinking hole coiled around her insides. As excited as she was to turn the next page in her life she couldn't help but worry over how they'd react to her departure. Her finger nervously tugged at the loose threading on her bag under the table. "I did want to bring something up, though."

Rose paled at the words and unease stood over the table like a creeping shadow. Rey hadn't heard first hand, but Rose was one of the many that felt like '_Kylo Ren'_ should not be under the Resistance bases roof, from Finn's own mouth he warned Rey previously they did not share the same sentiment.

"Nothing terrible." Rey prefaced her coming announcement accompanied by hands held upwards defensively. "But I've been thinking about where I go from here. It wasn't an easy decision but I think for now at least I'm done being tied down somewhere." She glanced out the window overlooking the main ship bay area outdoors. "I'm thinking I'll take a spare light freighter if I could and check out all these wonderful places I keep hearing about."

"You're gonna leave!" Finn nearly chocked out with a completely shocked expression. "I mean - I feel like I knew that was coming, just not this soon!"

"I feel like I've barely seen you!" Rose exasperated sadly as she rested her chin on her hands. "But if that's what you feel you need to do, you have to do it."

Finn stared at Rey with a blank expression, blinking at her as he began to make connections silently. "You're not gonna go on this 'finding yourself' trip alone are you."

Rey's eyed flashed over their faces to read expressions. Finn, blank. Rose raising a curious brow in Rey's direction. She figured this could go one of two ways, her friends would both be happy for her knowing all too well how Rey had struggled to fit herself into a proper role when she herself didn't particularly fit into it. Or they could be somewhat negative - Rey refused to believe they both would raise a stink about her choice, but Rey couldn't put past the fear of Rose picking a fight over this.

"No... I'm going to take Ben with me."

The two were quiet for a few moments as they processed, Rose exchanging an unreadable look toward Finn. Finn merely shrugged.

"Saw that coming." He replied cooly, picking up another nuna leg and holding it between his fingers. "I don't even know why I asked." He bit into the juicy meat, the sounds of fried flesh encompassing the group.

Rey watched Rose twiddle her fingers on the top of the table. "I'll support you no matter what Rey, but it'll take some time for me to be okay with _him _just being ... a regular person. His regime killed my sister, I can't just let go of that."

Rey nodded slowly. "I understand Rose." Did she though? Rey curled her toes in her boots to fight the urge to counter what Rose had said. "Just see the correlation between the brainwashing the First Order did to Finn and thousands upon thousands of other troopers, they were the same tactics The Emperor as Snoke had done to Ben."

Rose nodded along appreciatively to Rey's words, and so Rey continued. "I don't need you to forgive him, but I hope you understand where I'm coming from, I wouldn't just leave with someone who I thought truthfully deserved to rot in a prison, I wouldn't do that to you guys, to anyone."

"Of course not Rey." Rose smiled as genuinely as she could, but it was warm and heartfelt, Rey could feel it. "I'll work on it, for you."

"Wait wait wait." Finn interjected as he swallowed a lump of meat. "Now who's gonna teach me the ways of the force."

"Me and Ben will visit of course.. I'm just not as sure as I once was in the way of the Jedi. We can teach you everything we both know, from two walks of life."

"Tempting.." Finn sounded as he pulled away a hard tendon from his leg with his fingers and flicked it on his plate. "What about using a lightsaber, it's _not _as easy as it looks."

"You handled yourself fine against Ben." Rey rolled her eyes in his direction. "I'd offer you one of the sabers I've got, but I think I've decided to lay them to rest. Learn with a training saber then we'll talk."

He smiled to her with admiration. "I'll miss you, we'll all miss you Rey. When are you going to leave?"

"I was thinking tonight."

"Tonight! Jeez you don't mess around when you've got some idea in your head."

"It usually gets me what I want." She smiled proudly. It got her Ben - had she given up on paving the path of the light for him he would be lost to the worlds now. "It'll be better this way, I'd hate for us to stay any longer and create unnecessary tension."

"There has been a lot of talk surrounding him being here." Rose admitted freely with a growing weary look on her face. "I wouldn't want something to happen to you Rey, maybe this is for the better."

"Yeah.." Finn agreed rather sadly. "Once this blows over you owe me a few lessons."

Rey watched contently from the open doorway overlooking the general grounds where she knew Poe would be. Though the war was finished he still had a lot on his plate, which he freely admitted in private to her that it was just about more than he could handle. Being acting General at the time was more his calibre, attack plans, maneuvers, that sort of thing. The politics of it all afterwards were almost lost on him, but Rey had talked him up, edging him away from his breaking point.

He looked as if he was handling it well. He pointed a finger to direct a few troops to the landing supply cruiser, requesting it be sent down to the barracks where Rey had just pillaged prior.

_Beeeep! _

"Beebee!" She smiled broadly and knelt down into the dirt to greet her most favourite droid. He rolled up quickly and happily, rotating on the spot with a loud whirl when she reached to him and touched the sun warmed top of his head. "Having fun at all of these after parties?!"

_Beee-eeep!_

"I know I know, I've been a bit preoccupied.." She smiled while toying with his slightly askew antenna. "Looks like you've been partying too hard huh?"

"He's the life of the party." Poe's boots approached silently in the moist dirt leading up to her, standing over her with his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face. "He's missed you - it's been what, a few days since he last saw you?"

"It's been a busy few days Beebee!" Rey stated apologetically, giving his head a gentle rub before standing to face Poe. "You look like you've got your hands full out here."

"Eh, I can't take all the partying without some work to balance it out." He chuckled with a shrug. "Didn't think I'd see you surface from that apartment for at least another week, what's up?"

"Just sat down with Finn and Rose for what feels like the first time in forever."

"Oh yeah, how'd that go?"

He looked like he suspected something, like he already knew why she'd make the trip out to see him. It wasn't just to say hi. He picked up on a lot of social cues Rey failed at, maybe it was the years of solitude that stunted her social skills.

"It was almost odd, sitting down without worry of an impending attack or being deployed at any second. Almost surreal."

"Yeah, felt like that these past few days. Years in the making and _now _what do we do?" He scoffed outwardly at just the mere thought of composing a life based around new goals in his life - And Rey only felt the same. It was scary.

"I think we'll be leaving tonight." She blurted, catching his lingering eyes from the launch pads right back to her own, startled and alert. "I healed him, y'know with that healing I showed you back on Pasaana-"

"Yeah yeah I remember-" he interjected with a wave of his hand, "you do know when I said it would be best to lay low _or _leave when he's healed I didn't mean _right away_?"

"I know Poe." She smiled gratefully while Beebee chirped at their feet loudly, wanting to be heard. "But he's healed now and I think our time here is done."

Rey felt sadness tug at her heart strings when Poe's face fell. She didn't mean to hurt them or make them upset, in the end they were her family and some of the only few people she held close that remained alive. She hadn't confided in them the inner troubles she faced with her own identity so maybe the concept was harder for them to wrap their heads around, but it was worth a shot. She'd have to learn how to disclose personal feelings more readily to people.

"If that's how you feel that's how you feel." He sighed with an understanding smile, one she favored over the smirk that usually was found there. "You'll visit, right?"

"Who do you think I am?" She scoffed playfully with a knock off his shoulder. "How else will we exchange Beebee!"

"Oh it's like that is it!" He laughed and stared down at the droid who encircled the two happily. "You hear that bud, we've apparently got joint custody over you."

_Beeeep_?

"I'll come get you soon, I promise."

Rey sighed with her hands on her hips as she stared into the nothingness of Ben's apartment. A blank slate like they hadn't lived there for the entirety of a day, minus the empty water cup on the counter in front of Ben.

"I'd say we should pack. You've got..." Her eyes panned to the other side of the counter where he left his stolen clothes in a neat folded pile. "Just those... I have things back at my camp outside I'd like to grab before we go."

Ben nodded as acknowledgement, just listening to her speak was enough for him to go on in this conversation. He never thought himself overly needy but having Rey be gone most of the afternoon and into the evening he found himself rather lonely. He made himself lunch which he ate very slowly so he could continue to have something to do, even if his food got cold quite quick in doing so. He had paced the room, opened the door and stared down the hallway curiously, did whatever workout he could do without proper equipment or space to move around. She was sure a sight for sore eyes after hours of loneliness began to eat away at him.

"Where do you want to go first?" He queried in an attempt to get her to keep speaking. He didn't think he could stand silence any longer.

He lovingly watched as she carelessly peeled her bag away from her body and dumped it on the counter. She pat her messenger bag with her hand. "I've decided I'm going to lay Luke and your mother's lightsabers to rest. If that's okay with you."

He supplied her with a half shrug. "Why's that?"

"It feels right. A final way to respectfully put them to rest." She said confidently. "That leads me to my next point - I think I'm ready for my _own _lightsaber. You could use one yourself, maybe we could find a crystal cave?"

Memories flurried past his eyes of his own crystal gathering as a youngling under Luke's guidance. The dark caves lit only under the dim light of a flowing crystal set only for the eyes of the beholder. It was truly a sight to see, and a pang of excitement wanted to shine through - he could only imagine the great time she would have.

"We can definitely do that." She smiled as he spoke those words which led him to his own warm smile poking through. "There's a few places I could take you, unless you would rather go to Ilum."

"Ilum... that's _the _Jedi pilgrimage site if I remember correctly?" He nodded to her words. "We should start somewhere fresh."

Night fell over Ajan Kloss. Birds hummed and croaked in the thicket of the trees, chirps of lizards and other small creates erupted as they clashed in th thicket. Rey always appreciated the nights alone outside, laying in her cot and drifting away as the stars twinkled above her. As she stood outside with Ben now, staring behind her to the base, she imagined doing the same with him by her side. Whether it be outside on a desolate planet enjoying nothing but the other's company and their surroundings, or in a bed watching the stars through a window.

"That's the one, there." Rey pointed to the landing pads where a quaint light freighter stood silently. "Thankfully Poe had one he could let go of." She panned her eyes over to Ben. "What do you think?"

Ben eyed it critically as they approached. It had a twin set of gunner seats attached to the sides of the ship which gave him some sort of relief, not that the two of them would ever need to both be manning the weapons, but it was a measure of peace of mind for him that if need be he could blast another ship into teenie bits if threatened. Otherwise he recognized the generic model, had adequate living room without compromising it's ability to maneuver speedily. Actually, if he had to pin a label on it, it was excellent for what they planned to do.

"It's perfect."

She beamed happily and he suddenly felt the weight of her hand in his own, warm with a gentle squeeze. "We'll pop by my little space and we can be on our way?"

Rey led him near the treeline under a metal canopy draping over the spot from the building not too far away. Safe from the elements but still relatively open. He stood beside her personal crates with arms crossed over his chest as she dropped to her knees and began sorting.

"_This _is where you lived this past year?" He raised a brow skeptically as he panned his eyes over her handful of belongings. Some notable junk pieces, her staff, books piled up at the foot of her small cot.

Though it was dark out he could still make out her facial expression, staring up at with with a tiny giggle. "Yes?" She returned to rummaging in a black crate, stuffing some pieces of value to herself into her messenger bag. "I told you yesterday I lived outside, I don't know what else you were expecting."

"I'm not sure either..." He trailed off as a few officers strolled past happily chatting to each other, his senses perking up but the threat of confrontation died down as they entered the nearest building. He stepped over her carefully and picked up the small box they took with them from the apartment, mostly the food they ordered the previous day and the stolen clothes, now whatever she had tossed inside. He tried to peer in but the darkness enveloped the items completely.

"I'll miss staying out here.." She breathed as she stood back up to her feet, wiping her dusty hands on her pants and then swinging her staff over her shoulder. "The night is so peaceful."

"We're onto better things." He commented, shifting the box around so it didn't sit as awkwardly in his hands. "I'm sure you'll have the opportunity to stay outdoors again."

She smiled with a nod. "I'm sure."

They made it back to what would now be their new home. The boarding ramp came down with a hiss, the lights pouring into the darkened tarmac from within. This was it.

"Rey!"

Ben had just began making it up the ramp when the voices carried through the night, catching both him and Rey off guard, swiveling quickly on their heels to match voices to faces.

Her friends. They'd come to send her off, give her their final goodbyes.

"You guys.." She smiled and began padding back toward them, Ben watching as they approached quickly, and with warm smiles on their faces.

He wasn't sure how long they'd be gone for, him and Rey. Exploring, spending time with each other, marking off places to visit off her ever growing list. He didn't think it would be too long before she grew sick of not seeing them, or worse yet, grew sick of him. Regardless of if the next time she saw them was soon, he knew it would be nice for her to have a final goodbye. He leaned down and sat the box on the entrance platform to their ship. It would be polite _and _what Rey would want, for him to bid his own farewells to people that did nothing but support him and their relationship since the war ended.

First Rey hugged Finn, as far as Ben knew her first real friend out of everyone. They shared a tight embrace, eyes closed. Poe and a woman he didn't recognize with dark hair stood behind, watching the scene unfold happily.

Ben approached silently and stood five feet behind Rey so her friends didn't think of him to be intrusive. Rey told him Finn had found out he was Force sensitive earlier on in their walk out of the base, and requested that upon the times they visited her friends once more they could help him with his own training. Ben seemed dubious at the request, although he and Finn were on uncertain grounds he really doubted training coming from someone like him would be what Finn wanted.

Finn cracked open his eyes and stared up at Ben for a few moments, their eyes piercing into each other's, though Ben sensed no malice, rather just a tension. Finn let go of Rey and they shared a few words Ben couldn't hear, then Poe came around with his arms wide open and a grimace lining his features.

Finn shuffled to the side and took a few steps toward Ben, the tension grew as he did so. What would Ben say to him? Apologize on behalf of his regime who kidnapped him as a child, for Ben nearly killing him on several occasions, and for stealing away a dear friend of his? No, Ben could barely stand apologizing though he knew it was the right thing to do. He'd see how the conversation played out.

Finn stopped a mere few feet away from Ben. Silence ensued for a couple seconds before Finn broke it. "So where are you guys headed to first?"

Friendly talk? Surprising. He normally wasn't one too keen on upholding long-standing conversations, nor did he really have the skill to do so. "We haven't made a final decision, but Rey would like to acquire a kyber crystal for a new lightsaber."

"Ah. She did tell me she was ditching the other ones."

Poe and Rey let go of each other with warm smiles, and the other girl interjected abruptly to pull Rey into her own hug. Poe retreated from the two women in silence, watching the scene with creased content eyes.

A droid rolled out from behind Poe's legs, a perfect sphere crunching small twigs under its weight. Timidly it hid back behind its owners legs and it's small spherical head bobbed to the side to curiously eye the man he didn't recognize.

Ben eyed the droid. The famous droid with all the information he sought after a year ago. The droid at the time was worth more than Rey's life, ensuing his interrogation over her. If this unit was anything like the BB units the First Order used to keep their ships operational, he'd be a handy droid to have around. Rey spoke offhand about bringing this orange and white unit along with them occasionally.

It stared at him, and although droids couldn't articulate facial expressions, Ben knew it was eyeing him over with a watchful quizzical eye.

"Have fun wherever you head to first." The woman Ben didn't recognize chirped happily, giving Rey's shoulders a gentle squeeze. Ben noted the woman made no attempt to even gaze in his direction, but so be it, he didn't need to vie for acceptance throughout her friend group if they didn't want to reciprocate. "And we're only a call away if you need something."

Ben and Rey stood overlooking the cockpit of the ship in silence. It's dim lights illuminated the pristine controls and the metal flooring at their feet glistened as if it had never seen ownership once.

Rey stared lovingly up at him with a small warm smile, rubbing the back of his left arm with her hand. "Time to get going."

He smiled back down to her. "Let's."

Together, they stepped toward the pilots seat. Both now stopped and stared back at each other with not a smile to be seen. "I'll be piloting." Ben announced dutifully, reaching his hand to lay claim to the headrest of the main seat. "You can be my co-pilot."

"Am I a joke to you?" She raised a playful brow and also rested the palm of her hand on the headrest. "I'm an _amazing _pilot."

"I'm sure." He stepped toward the edge of the seat. "I usually don't call for a co-pilot, so."

"So it's, what, an honour?" She stepped back with her hands on her hips.

He sat down confidently with a shrug, getting a feel for the seat beneath him. He fully intended this to be his permanent seat for a while. "We can switch out occasionally." He spoke as he turned on a slew of buttons, not graving her with a look when he spoke. "Besides, I'm not much for tinkering with the inner workings of the ship, you can help me there."

"Hmm." She sighed with a roll of her eyes, meandering over to his side to watch him work at the controls. "We can _test_ those roles out, but no guarantees."

Admittedly these past few days she imagined them jetting off into the sunset with her at the helm of their own ship and him at her right assisting her ... she scrunched her nose at the thought of that picturesque scene changing but really she couldn't complain. Because a mere few days ago he was on the brink of death and the only thing she imagined was having to process him no longer existing. She brushed a wave of hair away from his face, to which he didn't react, pulling the controls upwards to gently lift the ship from the pad.

Rey took her co-pilot seat, adjusting until she found a comfy way to sit, and pretended to reach out to the controls to see which style fit her best. A smile erupted when she felt his side eyes creep over her to see what she was doing. "Okay, hands off I promise."

He smirked.

Curiously, she watched him enter coordinates with swift movements of his long fingers. She didn't recognize them but she rolled her eyes at her own idiocy, why would she, it's not like she's well travelled.

"You've decided where we're going?"

"I did." He input the coordinates and the navigational system whirled it into action. "I think you'll like where we're going."

She excitedly tapped her feet against the durasteel flooring. "I can't wait!" What could be have chosen? What does he _think _she'll like? Their new adventure couldn't come soon enough. With a broad smile she leaned back in her chair as the ship left the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss.

Rey took one last heartfelt glance at Ben, a moment for her to share in silence with just herself. His intent eyes set on the horizon in front of them, the way he blinked, his knuckles moving under his creased and scarred skin of his hands.

He felt her eyes on him, she didn't make it secret that she stared so studiously at him, and maybe she wanted to catch his attention.

His brown eyes flickered over to her, soft and warm, happy. He was a man of few words but as she examined him over these past few days he was full of expressions. She could notice any shift, the way his eye would twitch as something crossed his mind, his eyes would lower in deep thought. The way his lips would twitch with words he wanted to convey but held back on. She didn't understand him back then, his often frigid and apathetic facial displays only furthered her image of this monstrous being. Maybe some would still see him as cold but there was _so _much more to him than what she used to see.

When he caught her staring she couldn't help but smile warmly. "I love you." Was all she could muster as a response to being caught but truthfully it's all that currently crossed her mind. Warmth pooled in her stomach as she watched the small adjustments to his own facial features, small but noteworthy, the soft creases by his mouth when he smiled even the smallest smile. His naturally paler skin betrayed him and showed the tiniest traces of blood rush, his cheeks turned a light pink at her words.

He didn't reply for a few moments, but he was then quick to break the silence. "I love you too."

A few instances later their ship blasted off into hyperspace.

* * *

_Next chapter: The gathering_

_Wow long chapter! Sorry this took so long, this semester of college immediately had me writing essays right off the bat so I struggled to switch between academic writing and my casual writing!_

_I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter. It feels long winded but I felt everything was necessary to include, so I feel like I had quantity over quality so please bear with me, I'll try and get back to my normal 4k chapters without having to write excessively ._

_Please tell me what you think, your words of encouragement and your love keep me going!_


End file.
